The Day We Accidentally Eloped

This past summer we took the kids to Montana for our annual summer visit. We visited the Madison County Courthouse in Virginia City where Dave and I were married in 1996, almost 18 years ago. (Sheesh! How did that happen??). As I recounted the tail of our nuptials for the kids I realized that it was a story worth sharing and documenting for the great grandkids. (Yes, I fully expect that the great grandkids will enjoy GG's blog!!).

Here's the story...

It was the summer of 1996. I was 20 and Dave was 26. We were planning to be married on the Madison River in Montana. We had planned an ultra groovy ceremony perfect for our river-side-dog-friendly-shoe-optional-locale. Our ceremony would be complete with bare feet, Enya, and an ivy covered trellis, hand made by Dave. It would be my dream wedding (and my husband-to-be conceded to my every whimsical desire. Thanks, Honey.). One detail that we both agreed upon was that we didn't want an officiator. We didn't feel the necessity for the state's permission in our unity. At least not in the ceremony of our unity. We agreed that we wanted to spend our lives together, and why did we need the blessing of the state to make it so? We felt that all we needed was our life long commitment to each other, the blessing of our families and a ceremony to be witnessed by our dearest friends and family. (Aside - Now, almost 20 years later - March 2014, in light of the recent denial of marriage equality by so many states, I am proud to have foregone the blessing of the state in my own ceremony.)

But back to June of '96 - So there we were planning our groovy ceremony, and we realized that even though we didn't want an officiator to be a part of our ceremony, we did want to come out of our "wedding" as legal husband and wife. We realized we would have to go to the Madison County Courthouse beforehand to get a marriage license, which we assumed was how you made a marriage legally binding. So about a week before our nuptials we made the 45 minute drive to Virginia City, adding to our "To Do in Town" list: file marriage license. We figured filing our marriage license would be as simple as getting a license for our dog: fill out an application, pay a fee, and file it with Bundy, the county clerk. You filed everything with Bundy in our tiny county: dog licenses, car registration, property tax, and, we figured, marriage licenses. So we arrived at the county clerk's window, wearing our usual errand running attire of the 90's: Levi's and hiking boots and told Bundy we were there to get our marriage license. We explained to her that we were planning a groovy wedding ceremony and we wouldn't have an officiator but that we wanted to be sure that we were legally married when it was all said and done. She tilted her head and looked at us through the readers on the tip of her nose, assessing whether or not we were serious. Once satisfied she said, "Ok. Then you two will need to go see Judge O'Malley." Great. We thanked her and inquired as to where we could find Judge O'Malley.

"I'll have her meet you upstairs in the courtroom. Did you bring a witness?" she asked as she glanced down at our matching flannels and hiking boots. We looked at each other.

"A witness for what?"

She smiled and said, "Never mind. I'll send someone up."

So up to the courtroom we went figuring that was where the applications for the marriage licenses would be found.

The courtroom of the second floor of the 150 year old, brick Virginia City Courthouse was empty and cold and slightly creepy with the 20 foot ceilings, heavy red velvet drapes and rows of wooden pews that had surely seen all varieties of atrocities since the 1860's. We sat in the front row and waited. Eventually, Judge O'Malley arrived wearing a long black robe. She was trailed by two women in business suits and sneakers. I recognized them from downstairs. Smiling, she said, "You two ready?"

We were slightly confused. Ready for what? To pay our fee? To sign our application? But we didn't want to seem like the ignorant, barely twenty-somethings that we were so we hopped up from our pew and said, "Yes, ma'am." We approached her where she stood in front of her heavy oak desk with the name plate that read Honorable MaryAnn O'Malley. She asked us to face each other while the other two women shuffled around and stood behind us. "You can join hands." We looked at each. Weird. But it wasn't until Judge MaryAnn O'Malley said,

"Welcome everyone. We are gathered here today..."

that we finally understood.

"...to witness the joining of these two people in matrimony. Do you, Dave, take Heather to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love and to cherish her, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Holy $#@%! We were getting married!! Right then and there. In our Levi's and our hiking boots. At the Virginia City Courthouse. In Madison County, Montana. And we hadn't even planned it!! Honestly.

"I do."

"And do you, Heather, take Dave to be your lawfully wedded husband? To love and to cherish him, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?"

Holy $#@%!

"I do."

"Do you have a ring?"

"Uhhh." I took off the ring that Dave and I had chosen to symbolize our groovy commitment to each other and that I already wore on the ring finger of my left hand and gave it back to him. The ladies shuffled in their sneakers.

"Repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." And he put it back on my finger.

Dave took off the ring that I had picked out for him and gave it back to me.

"Repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." And I put his ring back on the ring finger of his left hand. I daresay, we both trembled a little.

"By the power vested in me by the state of Montana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Holy $#&%! We just got married!! We had just eloped!!! And we didn't even mean to. Our parents didn't even know!! Our siblings didn't know! Holy $#&%! We looked at each other and we could hardly contain ourselves. We laughed right out loud. Right there in the Honorable MaryAnn O'Malley's courtroom we laughed. And we kissed. And we laughed again. And we hugged. We were married. Just like that.

"Congratulations!" The two women said, clapping their hands.

"Congratulations," said MaryAnn O'Malley.

And we all went back downstairs to sign our marriage license, pay our fee, and file it with Bundy.

Dave and Heather in front of the Madison County Courthouse in Virginia City, MT, June 24, 1996 - right after we got married without knowing it. Four years later to the day, our second son, Emerson, would be born. 

A visit to the courthouse in 2003.

A visit to the courthouse in 2013. 

Virginia City, MT 2013

 In our Levi's and hiking boots with the Honorable MaryAnn O'Malley in 2013. 

The Best Little Fishing Shack in Montana

For starters, let me just say that I was successful in getting a handle on my laundry. Key word: WAS. Because, the thing about laundry is: IT'S NEVER ENDING! So I had a handle on it, for like, 7...no...8 hours, and now it's totally out of hand again. But, this time it's really not that funny and the kids dumping out the basket to find...who knows what...not that cute. Honestly! If I wasn't so irreplaceable, I'd fire myself.

But enough about that.

Let's talk about our cabin on the Madison River in Montana. It's affectionately known as The Fishing Shack, and it's for rent, you know. Available now. Almost booked up for the busy summer months. Yippee! And for those of you who were with me during the building phase I wanted to post some pictures now that it's totally done. You know you wanna rent it...

A River Runs Through It. Imagine Brad Pitt out there with a fly rod in hand...

Almost all of the furniture (and decor) at the Fishing Shack came from a Craigslist ad out of Bozeman. A family was selling their second home and all of the furnishings that were in it. My darling husband, being the savvy businessman that he is, negotiated a smokin' price for EVERYTHING in the home. And I mean everything. Dining room furniture, bedroom furniture, living room furniture, linens, dishes, pots and pans, toilet paper, bikes, window treatments, washer and dryer, hangers, cleaning supplies, everything. He rented a Uhaul and packed it all up. They were out of state and couldn't have been happier to have the place emptied. Love Craigslist!

Cozy Kitchen

Master bedroom - I did buy all new bedding and towels, just for fun.

One of the two upstairs bedrooms. Dave made the log bunkbeds.

Looking down on the Living Room from the stairs. Check out the barnwood floors from the ceiling of an old Montana brothel - the Choteau House. If ceilings could talk...

Christmas 2008

*My Blog readers get a little discount: rent 6 nights get the 7th night free. Here is the link to the VRBO site:
The Fishing Shack

10 Tips for Surviving a Really, Really Long Drive with Kids

The drive between our house in California and the cabin in Montana is about 17 hours (considerably longer when battling white-out conditions and icy roads, but that's another post all together).

Here are my best kept secrets to keep from pulling your hair out on a road trip with kids.


Tip #10: No matter how much they try to convince you that they "don't need to go", make sure EVERYONE uses the toilet every time you stop. This will significantly cut down on pit stops (which add a surprising amount of time to any road trip). Invariably, the one who says they don't have to go when you're stopped at a gas station, will have to go twenty minutes down the road.

Tip #9: Always carry a tupperware (with lid) in the car for the wayward puker. There's nothing more stressful for a mom behind the wheel than to hear these words, muttered from the third row back, "Mom, I don't feel so good..." Shooting across four lanes of traffic to come to a screeching halt on a shoulder that is really much too small for the average SUV, is not the safest of maneuvers. A handy tupperware will not only cut down on stinky car and precious minutes lost rinsing vomit from brother's hair in the Flying J truck stop, but it will also keep you calm behind the wheel. Trust me on this one.

Tip #8: Make sure everyone has their own pillow and blanket. Sleeping kids are the best road trippers.

Tip #7: If you are lucky enough to have an entertainment system (which I can't recommend enough for a long road trip) then you will want to make sure everyone has their own set of head phones. Preferably all the same kind so there is no squabbling over the "best" pair. Establish at the beginning of the drive that Mom picks the movies, and then pick ones that will keep everyone's attention.

Tip #6: Extra batteries for the above head phones. I just can't stress the importance of this one. A dead pair of head phones is a road trip bust.

Tip #5: Have everyone pack a small bag with some car appropriate activities, ie; Gameboys, View Masters, books, ipods, etc.

Tip #4: Snacks, snacks, snacks. The miles melt away when there are munchies to be had. Carrots are the BEST road trip snack. No prep, no mess, no trash, no sugar, no fat, no guilt, not sticky and a seriously satisfying crunch.

Tip #3: Make sure to have water available in the car. I like to pack everyone there own water bottle (that I refill as needed). And please, I implore you, don't let them get a soda with their meal. First, the sugar will cause them to bounce off the walls of your car, subsequently causing you to tear your hair out. Secondly, they will have to pee every twenty minutes for the next hour after guzzling their brew. If water is all there is, they will drink when they're thirsty and they won't guzzle.

Tip #2: Fast food. I am not a proponent of fast food under normal circumstances. But desperate times require desperate measures (remember - no drinks). And, as I figure it, if fast food is limited to road trips (and other desperate times, like when there's 3 and a half minutes for dinner before the next baseball game) then we'll be OK. And when the road trip is already ridiculously long, meals must be limited to the drive-through variety. (Remember to have EVERYONE use the potty when you stop.) Keep in mind, fast food doesn't have to mean McDonald's. Subways are widely available at pit stops along major thoroughfares throughout the country. Also, Starbucks has a great selection of relatively healthy, quick foods (not to mention the caffeine pick-me-up for Mom, often needed for the long haul).

Tip #1: The single most important tip for a successful road trip: Seat kids as far apart from one another as possible! If nothing else, be mindful of who you seat next to whom. You know the combination of siblings that simply won't work out -- "She's touching me!" "He's on my side!" Need I say more?

Drive safely, and you'll be there before you know it.

Look...

At what the cat dragged in...

He got home Friday night. So glad to have him home safe and sound. Now just to fatten him up...

View from the car on our snowy drive home from MT.

Does that say 20 degrees?

Burrr!

I've been meaning to post these pics from when Cole got home from science camp a couple of weeks ago. Brace yourself...

"I hope none of my friends are watching."

I missed my Bubba!

The boys were glad to see each other, too. I found them cozied up together the next morning watching a movie on Cole's PSP.

Ocassionally, one of the kids will get a hold of a camera and take about a million pictures of...well...everything. You know the ones - couch cushions, piano keys, sister's toes, people's butts, etc. Here are a couple of my favorites from one morning when Evie was in charge of the camera. Above -- a self portrait.

Mommy and Daddy - glad to be making breakfast together on a leisurely Sunday morning.

We grew pumpkins in our garden this year. Here's one of the six we got from our "pumpkin patch" (which, by the way, took over almost the whole garden and a good portion of the lawn).

Home Sweet Home

We're home! The kids and I, that is. I had to leave my hardworking, never-leaves-a-project-unfinished (which is what I love about him), husband in Montana to babysit the electrician. And finish the ceiling (the installer seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth).

So the kids and I hit the road yesterday morning and got home last night at midnight. The last couple of hours were tough, but Danielle Steele kept me company (love a good book on "tape").

The kids are glad to be home, and they're all playing a little "catch-up" with homework this afternoon.

I'm missing Dave a lot today, and I'm very ready to have my little family back together again.

We had a wonderful time with Daddy in Montana, and, as an added bonus, we were able to spend the last couple of nights camped out in the cabin. And even though it's still a bit of a construction zone, it was very cozy. We made a fire and some soup, tried out our new pebble floored master shower with rain head (FABULOUS!), tucked the kids into their nests, and watched the snow fall from our blow up air mattress. I'm pretty sure it doesn't get any better than that. You know?

Here are some pics from our time:

Dear Truancy Board,

I'm afraid I will be unable to return my children to school on Monday as previously promised. You see...we're snowed in...

errr...it's snowing...a lot.

um...the roads are icy...really icy...and slippery.

and...the snow plow doesn't come 'til Monday...or maybe Tuesday.

plus...and I'm sure you'll agree with this...there is certainly more involved in the education of children than sending them to school. Like what causes a snow drift, and at what temperature rain turns to snow, and seeing elk in the wild, and what black ice looks like, and the Legend of Jack Frost.

I will be sure to have them back in school just as soon as...the snow melts....or the plow comes through...or the cabin is finished...whichever comes first.

Very sincerely yours,
Mrs. Stewart

P.S. Feel free to call and discuss this matter further...with my husband.

Arrived Safely

We're here! The cabin is FABULOUS! And, of course, seeing Dave is even MORE fabulous. Thank you all for your warm thoughts for a safe trip. The drive was just fine, and the kids were great. I've said it before and I'll say again: Thank goodness for in-car-entertainment systems! (FYI: Geriatric dogs are welcome with open arms all throughout the state of Nevada!)

I'm having trouble getting my computer on line, but when I do, I'll be posting pictures and Part III of The Day We Met.

Thanks for checking in.

~Heather

Daddy or Bust

That's right. I'm pulling the kids out of school (the truancy board loves when I do that), and we're hittin' the high road to Montana. I've had enough of this whole "being apart from Daddy" business. So I'm grabbing the kids at noon, driving 'til I can't drive no more, and then driving some more. Sixteen hours and a whole lotta movies should see us arriving in the Madison Valley sometime tomorrow afternoon. (I'll probably stop and get a room near Wells, Nevada tonight. I hope they take geriatric dogs who sometimes can't hold it through the night.)

Please sends thoughts for a safe trip.

I'm off to pack.

Oh, and shave my legs...

Hugs, Heather

P.S. Dave will join us for the drive home on Sunday. The cabin should be buttoned up by then! Don't forget - it'll be available to rent starting summer 2009. I'll post pics when I'm up there.

The Cabin

Tina asked me to post some pictures of the cabin, so here you go. Dave's coming home Friday and flying back to Montana on Tuesday. Funny to have him come home for a "visit". But, hey, I'll take it! Cole leaves for Science Camp on Monday and then the house will be very quiet. Oh my.

My very favorite time of year in Montana is the fall. See the yellow grove of Aspens on the hill in the background? Those are my favorite.

Granite went in yesterday. Check mark!!

Reclaimed barn wood on the floors downstairs.

*Available to rent starting summer 2009!

Montana Summer

We spent most of our summer in Montana building a little cabin on the Madison River. Dave is still there keeping the building process on track and doing quite a bit of the work himself. Alas, the kids and I had to come home... that pesky school thing. Nothing like school to ruin a perfectly fabulous summer! Here are some pics of our Montana summer.

Our cabin on the Madison

The awe of Old Faithful

The Grand Canyon of Yellowstone National Park. I love how my girls have matching scraggly hair do's with parts on the opposite sides. I guess that's what happens when you have boys first. But, not to worry, I do make an extra effort on school days busting out the brush and adorning with bows and braids (at least for the first few days...).

A buffalo crossed the road right in front of our car in Yellowstone! Very exciting!

Evie and Soli playing at the West Fork of the Madison. (In case anyone has ever wondered why they call it "Big Sky Country"...)

Wild West Yellowstone Rodeo