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Sunday, September 14, 2008

Re-Post: My Adoption Pregnancy

I am reposting this entry for three of my blogger friends: Shana, who just gave birth to her third child after adopting her first two from China and Guatemala respectively; Tina, who has five biological kids and adopted her youngest from Guatemala (we fostered our babies in Antigua together) and she just started a blog of her own (I'm so excited); and for my new friend, Erin, who is in the throws of adopting a darling baby girl from China and has five biological kids, too.

It is amazing to me how many parallels there are between my pregnancies and this adoption process. I feel like the first trimester of this "pregnancy" was filled with tedious paperchasing and only a very vague sense of "baby" at the end of the seemingly endless road ahead. Not unlike the first trimesters of more physical pregnancies which are often marked (at least for me) by the seemingly endless nausea and vomiting and still only a very vague sense of "baby". But there is no proof of this fluttering, no hiccups, no belly to speak of. Until suddenly you wake up one day and the nausea and the paperwork are done. Your dossier is on it's way and the vomiting has ceased. It's the second trimester! And suddenly there is proof of a baby! A picture on your computer screen...a referral! And there are fluttery little kicks, and tiny little hiccups, and a tiny little belly. There WILL be a baby after all. The second trimester is a time of excitement and anticipation. Milestones are being reached...DNA, Family Court, Pre Approval, AFP, Hemoglobin and Ultrasound. You're feeling good and healthy and strong. You can endure. Names are being discussed and decided upon. And the baby's pictures arrive and the medical update says she gained 2 perfect pounds since last month. And the midwife says your belly has grown 4 perfect centimeters since last month. Amazing! And then the third trimester begins. Your belly is feeling rather huge and the PGN wait seems rather long. How can I possibly make it to the end? You think you'll never make it! Swollen feet, heartburn, achy back, can't sleep and the agency calls....another Previo. This can't go on! But then one day you wake up with're out of PGN! You thought this day would never come! You can't believe it's almost over! There's so much to do! Call the midwife, defrost the soup, book the hotel, call the relatives, update the blog! But labor is so long and hard! Why does it take so long to get pink?! Finally the midwife says, "It's time to push: soon you'll be holding your baby". And the agency calls, "Your pink slip has been issued: soon you'll be holding your baby". Thank God! It's almost over. And then suddenly your baby is in your arms and all the paperwork, vomiting, certifying, varicose veins, and the endless waiting, waiting, waiting are distant memories...


Shana said...

So true! I remember this post from when you first wrote it... thanks for reposting it & for thinking of me!

I know I owe you a call- so much to catch up on!

Lots of love,
Shana :)

mom260224 said...

Very well said - I love the post! Tina

Anonymous said...

That is exactly right...these emotions are so intense...I worry about our China baby just like I worried about each baby before I had her or him in my arms. Every photo I see or detail I get about her is like that first glimpse of a sonogram picture...and I just break out in tears wanting to hold her. I know I'll appreciate the wait when I finally have her home---It is just something momma's have to go through before we are lucky enough to hold our sweet babies.

I am about to post on our name dilemna---it's been my big secret until now.

The color name is one that ran past me---the name HONG means red, but her Chinese name is Caihong together, which means rainbow. So I thought of one of the red names, like Ruby or Scarlett, which a very good friend of mine suggested, or Crimson, which I (alone like). Violet is so pretty, but I think of ben Affleck/Jennifer Garner's baby when I hear it.

I like Caia because that is just adding an "a' on her name Cai-but that is commom as well and seems like one many adoptive parents are using it with different spellings Kaia/Kya/ person who greatly influenced me adopting from China just named her little one Kaiya so I would feel like I was stealing the name!

I'll be adding your blog to my favorites, too!

Looking forward to your help with the name---